One Year.

One year ago was one of the most important days of my life. But I didn't know it then.

One year ago I was excited for something. But I had no idea the extent of it.

One year ago was the first missions leader meeting.

One year ago I met my co-leader for our trip to Haiti.

One year ago I met the love of my life :)

Fair warning... this post will be corny but I don't care.

On September 30th, 2009 at 10pm we had our first leaders meeting. I was waiting for it all day long and couldn't wait to go and hear about our trip and responsibilities. I was also excited to meet my co-leader. I had no idea who he was or what to expect him to be like. All I knew is that I would be working closely alongside him for the next 6 months in preparation for our trip to Haiti and a week there. As I was walking to my meeting that night I was on the phone with a dear friend who kept asking me about him. I was slightly puzzled as to why she was so curious and at that point i knew nothing about him. The only thing I knew was that his name was Matthew Johnson. Then she squealed in excitement saying, "He could be 'the one". I laughed and said, "No, I don't think so." Little did I know. In my head I said no. Over and over again. I couldn't date my co-leader. No no no. Too messy, too sticky, not gonna happen. I remember walking into our meeting and being the first one there (story of my life) and then him coming in not long after. My friend Tina pointed him out to me and said, "That's your co-leader". So we met each other and then sat down together and the meeting began.

That was one year ago. Little did I know that day that a year from then, today, I would be in love with Matt. He has been such a blessing in my life. The way he loves me, encourages me, and leads me closer to the Lord is unreal and I'm beyond grateful for it.

I love you, Matthew Johnson. You mean the world to me. I'm glad I met you one year ago.  :)

This was our first photo ever taken together. At the Miami airport after our trip to Haiti. :)

And this is us now :)

Imagine.

Last week I went on a field trip to a national wildlife reserve near my school. We walked through the marsh for quite some time and all my mind could think about was the river walk in Haiti. As I walked through this marsh with my classmates, I was in another world. I was imagining the children running up and grabbing onto my hands. I imagined them asking me questions in Creole and me only being able to answer a few of them. I imagined the children yelling "BEBE FOU!" at Ashley as she ran ahead and they chased her. Then instantly I was snapped back to reality as the guide explained to us how they were preserving the everglades by pouring millions of dollars into measuring the water and how it flows in the marsh... 

Enough said. 

(Florida Marsh)

That's where I found myself wondering how in the world I got there. I'm standing in the marsh, listening to how important it is to protect the everglades and the water and I'm wondering... isn't it more important that there are people across the world that are dying because they do not have clean water or any water at all? 

From then on I could not focus any longer on the information being fed to us by the tour guide. My mind was back in Haiti along with my heart. It was with all the children I've grown to love so dearly. It was with the mommies. The babies. It was with every single person that I came in contact with while I was there. 

To be fully honest, I would have chosen to be on the river walk, walking through a village surrounded by mountains and beautiful trees over being at the wildlife preserve. And that's just the truth. 

(River Walk)

(Beauty of the Creator)

Sewing? Yes please.

Today I have an insanely odd urge to sew something awesome. Like a purse or something. 

Maybe something like this: 

The bottom middle one looks sweet. 

And maybe with a cool antique map fabric? Something like this: 

Hmm... I'd want to hand sew it too... it'd take a while but I'd love it. 

Saturday project? Possibly :)

Handwriting Course? But I Like My Handwriting.

I am currently learning how to write like a computer. And basically how to write on a chalkboard when teaching children how to read letters. 

Fun? Not exactly. 

In other words, my shoes from Not For Sale came in today. They're wonderful. Beyond. So happy.

 

And... since I'm making links... 

Matt got a blog :) Follow him so he'll actually write in it haha 

Well I guess it's time to go back to learning how to write in perfect font. Farewell for now. 

Echo.

"Teach me Your way, O LORD; I will walk in Your truth; Unite my heart to fear Your name." 

Psalm 86:11

"With all my heart I have sought you; Do not let me wander from Your commandments. Your word I have treasured in my heart, that I may not sin against You." 

Psalm 119:10-11

These two verses have been echoing through my head continually. Everywhere I go, there they are. There is so much beauty and truth in these verses I just wanted to share them with you all :) 

Date Night :)

We went to the cutest ice cream place on the Island....

There was candy too....

Julia and Delton came with :) love double date nights .... 

Then we went to a Cathedral to take pictures....

We walked... talked... and held hands... 

It was wonderful :)

At The Sound...

This song has been echoing through my head on repeat the past few days. I love it. :)

Your Great Name

Lost are saved; find their way; at the sound of Your great name

All condemned; feel no shame, at the sound of Your great name

Every fear; has no place; at the sound of Your great name

The enemy; he has to leave; at the sound of Your great name

Jesus, Worthy is the Lamb that was slain for us, Son of God and Man

You are high and lifted up; that all the world will praise Your great name

All the weak; find their strength; at the sound of Your great name

Hungry souls; receive grace; at the sound of Your great name

The fatherless; they find their rest; at the sound of Your great name

Sick are healed; and the dead are raised; at the sound of Your great name

Jesus, Worthy is the Lamb that was slain for us, Son of God and Man

You are high and lifted up; that all the world will praise Your great name

Redeemer, My Healer, Almighty

My savior, Defender, You are My King

Jesus, Worthy is the Lamb that was slain for us, Son of God and Man

You are high and lifted up; that all the world will praise Your great name. 

Life is good.

The title says it all. 

Although school has me stressin major... I must say life is good. 

Over that, God is good.

Actually...

GOD IS GREAT.

I want these shoes. 

Incredible. I find things like this worth spending money on. Even if they're slightly more than a regular pair of shoes. Just saying :). 

In other words... The Green Market starts this weekend. 

I'm so excited. 

And my mom is coming to experience it with me. 

This year it will be a weekly Saturday morning activity. It's beautiful. 

Walking to the Green Market last year 

Love love love love love the Green Market.

Last weekend I got to spend a lot of time with my love :) We found a precious little Ice Cream place on the island and found the perfect evening to go. 

I love him and I'm so thankful the Lord placed him in my life. 

One Wish.

If I had one wish... right this moment...

it would be to be home. In Haiti.

Sitting on the cement steps on the staff side. Or spending time with the wonderful prosthetic patients in the prosthetics lab. Or down at the Hope House playing with Iverson, Stevenson, Esther, Clara, any of the children. Or in the Hope House cafeteria teaching the mommies English and building relationships with them. Or sitting in church, surrounded by people, holding a precious little baby who is sleeping on me through the service. It's moments like those that make life what it is. It's those moments that make life beautiful.

I want to be there. Desperately.

Please Jesus....

I'm begging You.

Guard it.

Hold it.

Pour into it.

I'm begging You.

Give it strength.

Give it peace.

Give it hope.

I'm begging You.

Be love.

Be faithfulness.

Be everything.

Lord Jesus, I'm entrusting it to You.

Time.

Well, it's been a month since I've returned home from Haiti. This past month has flown by. Time doesn't stop when you want it to and sometimes it seems to go even faster in those moments. It's funny how that happens. Time is so fickle. When you want it to go by slow it goes by fast and naturally, when you want it to go by fast it goes by slow.

As much as I've grown to either dislike or love time... (never somewhere in the middle)... I've come to realize that I need time.
I need time for my wounds to heal.
I need time for my heart to feel at home here.
I need time to live.
I need time to breathe.
I need time to rest.
I need time to be me and to let God work in and through me.

Since I've been home I've been going non-stop. Not allowing myself to fully process being back. Not allowing myself to rest in the Lord. Not allowing myself to cry over the ones I miss.

As school has started I've found myself getting busier and busier. Time has become something I am lacking. And when I'm lacking time I find myself overwhelmed. And when I'm overwhelmed I realize how distant I am from everything and everyone. Including the Lord.

Distance kills me. And typically its made up in my mind. I feel distant from everything and everyone. And when I'm feeling distant my heart is not where it should be.

It breaks my heart to see my sin. Mostly because I know how much I break my Father's heart. I let the littlest things get in the way of me fully seeking the Lord and dwelling in His presence.

It is the cry of my heart that I will continue to learn this year to put aside all the things that drain me and overwhelm me and truly dwell in the presence of my Savior.

I need time. I need time to pour into my relationships. With my family, friends, my love, and the Lord. I need time to breathe and let go of all the things that are building up in my life. I need time to just live.

Truth.

I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way He loves us.

Oh, how He loves us.

Fire Alarms.

I've come to despise things that make loud noises.

Such as fire alarms going off in my apartment building at 4am.

I would much rather be awaken by a dying cow every morning at 6am in Haiti than a rather loud and high pitched alarm at 4 am where I have to evacuate the building in my pj's to stand in the parking lot with all the other students living here.

But life is good. Always.
God is greater. Always.