Almost There.

Who knew the process of sewing a bag could reveal so much about life to me. 

Anyone who sews, especially hand sewing, knows its a tedious task that requires patience. 

Lesson #1-Patience. I may be tired of waiting to see the end result, but overall I know the end will be beautiful and I will see the big picture. (yes, I'm talking about life and my bag haha). 

Lesson #2- Contentment. I'm almost done with my bag. The body is completed and all I have left is to add the handles. How does this relate? I'm almost there. I want to rush to the end. I want to be done. I want to see the finished result. I'm ready to move forward. However, time is needed to get to the end and I need to be content with that. 

Sorry if this is confusing and makes no sense. I'm not quite sure my brain is making much sense at all today. But thats okay. :) 

So what am I learning in life? To be patient and content. 

Woy.

Ill post pictures when I'm finished. Keep looking :)

Blessed.

Dear Jesus, 

Thank you for wonderful roommates like these ones. 

I'm truly blessed :)

A Rekindled Desire.

It would be a lie for me to say that my relationship with the Lord is wonderful and growing. In all honesty, it has been the last thing on my mind the past few weeks as I've been busy with loads of school work and commitments. It's something I've longed for. It's the one thing that has been lacking. And I've known that. So why on earth did I continue leaving it on the end of my list?

Tuesday morning I couldn't do it any longer. I miss my passion for the Word. I miss my desire to be with Jesus every morning. So I woke up, grabbed my Bible and my journal and just dug in. And the only thing that I could think was why on earth have I been putting this aside.

I love the Word of God. It is the thing that holds me up, keeps me going, draws me closer to Him. I love it. The past year has been wonderful. I've loved waking up (almost) every morning to spend time with the Lord. It's made all the difference. And although my busy schedule will remain busy and my commitments wont change, my heart has rekindled its desire to be with the Lord. Continually. Not just when I wake up. But all day. Every day.



On a side note, I am going home today for the first time in 2 months. It's crazy to think that I was gone this summer, home for a week, then gone for 2 months at school. WHAT?! I'm bringing Matt and can't wait for a relaxing weekend of homework, hanging with my mom, and seeing my dog :) I know, I'm a dork. But I miss him.

AND I'm going home next weekend for a few days too after I go home with Matt! This will be wonderful :) 

Best friend.

My best friend has a blog.

Follow her. :)

She's the most wonderful best friend ever.

Celebrating Love, Being Ten, and a Birthday.

Well well well.. what can I say... 

This weekend was pure love. It was the first time in oh, about three weeks that I've gotten to do something other than schoolwork. Yes, I actually had fun. :) 

To celebrate 6 months together, which is today, Matt and I disappeared for the day to the beach. It was the perfect day and no, neither of us got sunburned. I love him. 

Also, to celebrate 10/10/10 at 10:10:10, my lovely friends hosted a party. The only requirement was that we dress like 10 year olds :) So that is precisely what me and my roommates did. 

We're cute 10 year olds :) 

Today is not only Matt and I's 6 month monthiversary, but it is also my daddy's birthday. No words can express how much I wish I could celebrate with him. He is the man who taught me how to love. He is the man I first loved. He was my hero, my inspiration. I wish I was 10 years old so I could celebrate with him again. I do believe the year I was ten I made him a chocolate cake on his birthday. I may have to make one tonight just because. :) 

So much celebrating in one weekend. Celebrating falling in love with an amazing man. Celebrating a date and time that will never occur again. And celebrating the birthday of the man I will always love and miss, my daddy. 

Me at 20 and 10. There is a scary similarity in these pictures :) Haha.

Is This Real?

I'm currently about to crawl back into my cozy bed. I am pretty sure I'm dreaming because I haven't had a break or time to relax in forever.

I'm just really excited.

Nap time, I'm glad you are finally here :)

I Don't Want To.

I don't want to live like this. 

The past few weeks I have been overwhelmed, stretched thin, exhausted, stressed, and just plain too busy. I hate this for more reasons than I can explain. I would be perfectly content living my life this stressed if it was because of something important. However, this is not the case. I've been put in this position of exhaustion because of school work. Yes, I know, education is important. But is it REALLY? I have had no time to pour into my relationships with the people that I'm surrounded by. This is not how I want to live. My fruitful conversations with Matt have been few to none, my conversations with my mom have been brief and not as frequently as I would like, my time and conversations with my best friend have been almost nonexistent, and the most important relationship, my relationship with the Lord, has been placed on the back burner and seems to be dragging. This is not how I want to live. I am sorry, but there is no way that me learning how to teach students what motion is is more important than my relationships. Especially with my relationship with the Lord. 

This is not how I want to live.

I don't want to live a busy life filled with insignificant, trivial, and frivolous things. I want to live a simple life. That may be a busy life but at least it will be busy because of things that actually matter in this world. I want to live a simple life, one of sacrifice and service, one of love and compassion, one of hope and truth. I want to live a life that reflects the gospel. I want to embody the gospel and tell it to the people I come in contact with. I want to share with them the hope that I have in Jesus Christ. The gospel is the most important thing in all of life. I firmly believe this. So why am I not living this way? Will I really allow my schooling to hold me back from living the way Jesus created me to live? I do not want to let this hold me back. I want to be free to share, to live, to serve, to be the hands and feet of Jesus.

This is how I want to live.

When I think about Haiti and all the third world countries, I see over and over that all these beautiful people want is to survive. They are willing to do everything they can to survive... even if that means risking the very life they are trying to keep alive. (Oxymoron?). Now, let me ask you this: why are people so willing to lay their life down for survival yet so many of us are not willing to lay our life down for the gospel? This thought is absurd. I'm sorry if that is blunt, but it is true. Why are we not willing to give up our lives for the sake of the gospel even though we have FULL assurance in our eternity in Heaven with our Creator? Why are we not willing to give up this insignificant life to bring life to the people who may spend their eternity in Hell if we do not go? 

The cry of my heart is to live a life that is not my own. I want to be used by the Lord to further the Kingdom and to reach the people of this world with His love and truth. 

This is how I want to live.

So this is where I find myself. Stuck. 

My body is stuck here, in America, at school, overwhelmed by lesson plans and activities for children, by lack of time, lack of sleep. And what for? 

Nothing. 

This is not how I want to live.

My heart is stuck in Haiti. With the people in need across the nations, in need of the gospel, in need of truth, love, hope, in need of life. And what would this be fore? 

Everything.

This is how I want to live.

I am.

DRAINED.

Inspiration.

I'm obsessed with maps. 

I want to have them all over my house. 

I am unusually enthralled with the color blue that takes up large parts of maps. 

It may be my new favorite color.

Maps inspire me.

I guess they inspire me for multiple reasons. 

But most of all they set in me a passion to live out the Great Commission.

I want to travel the world to share the gospel with all nations. 

I want to go.