I'm Back!

Obviously I have been terrible at blogging for the past... oh, 3 months or so. Mostly since I've been back at school. Any of you who have been around me lately or have talked to me frequently know that school has been controlling my life. Well, I am happy to say that I'm done. (Okay... I still have four finals and a portfolio to assemble. But other than that, I'm DONE!) 

Yesterday I was talking to Matt and my best friend Michele about how when I was in Haiti over the summer I thrived on spending time with the Lord first thing in the morning on the balcony outside the room. There was something about being outside with a cup of coffee (in the heat) surrounded by mountains and beautiful trees saturating my heart with the Word. I loved it. I recently saw an email I had sent to Matt on one of those beautiful mornings saying that wherever we end up living, we have to have a balcony. And sure enough, our apartment (his until were married) has a large, beautiful balcony overlooking a lake/canal. Lovely. 

I've struggled so much recently to start my mornings digging into the Word. It's been a challenge because in the profession of education, early mornings are mandatory for work, which doesn't leave too much time for anything in the mornings. I can handle waking up early, but in all honesty, this semester I've completely neglected waking up an extra hour or so early to spend time with the Lord. If it fits in my day, great! If not, tomorrow will make up for it. Oh how sinful my heart is. 

Well, all of this to say, I'm back. I realized how much more I thrived on the Word when I could be away from my roommates (I love you guys, but there's something about being ALONE with the Lord... kinda hard to do with 4 other roommates. I know you all feel the same :) haha). I realized how much I grew when I could dig into the Word, surrounded by Creation, and how much I LOVED blogging about what the Lord was teaching me. I've always had a journal. I've always written out Scripture, prayers, thoughts, whatnot. But there is something about blogging that hits home in my heart. My thoughts come easier, I can type much faster than handwriting. I've missed it. Truly missed it. This morning I spent time digging into just a few verses, I wrote everything down in my journal. But then I decided I wanted to transfer it to my blog. I want to start this again.

My heart is so excited for what will happen in two months and two days. Yes, my wedding. I am going to marry a man who's heart is after God and who longs to see the Kingdom multiply and grow. I truly believe that through our marriage, we will be able to reach the Kingdom so much more effectively than alone. :) That's the beauty of marriage. But something I'm looking forward to (not quite as much) is living at our apartment and being able to spend the mornings on the balcony digging into the Word. I'm SO excited. It will be absolutely lovely. 

So now, I will say, I am back :) 

Originally I was going to write about what the Lord showed me this morning and share some truth with you all, but this post is long enough. So I will end this post and then post Scripture along with some thoughts next. :) 

Oh hi.

I've been so busy I forgot I had a blog. Woops!

Engagement Pictures!!

My sweet friend Ashlee (Ashlee Nicole Photography) took Matt and I's Engagement Pictures Saturday. She's such a talented photographer and we are so blessed to have her as our photographer. 

Here are a few of my favorites I've seen so far: 

Thanks again Ashlee! :)

I'm blessed to be marrying this man in 146 days!

Well, I haven't blogged in quite some time. I'm not sure why not. I guess because I don't have time. And when I do have time it's because, well, frankly I don't feel like it. So for those of you who actually try to keep up with my life, I'm sorry- I'm trying to keep up with it myself.

I could sit here and write about what's happening in my life, but I'd bore you all to tears and in all reality, there's really too much stuff to include. So instead I'll tell you a brief story...

You know those moments in your life where in one instant something happens and you immediately go back to a prior time and place. Somewhat like deja-vu. Tonight I was sitting in my car with Matt, pouring my heart out to him, which basically resulted in tears (Shocker, I know). Now, this may sound like I'm flaunting what I have, but hear me out. I'm just being honest. My fiance is truly the best. His love for me blows my mind on a daily basis. As I'm sitting there blubbering about the things on my heart, he gently reached over and wiped my tears. In that instant I was back in Garca, Brazil in the year 2005.

Strange, right? Let me explain...

The last day of our trip to the Alpha & Omega orphanage in Brazil, I went into sweet Isabella's room to give her a new pair of sheets and a pillow. She was the sweetest little three year old girl I've ever met. She took me to her bed and as I sat down I realized what I was sitting on. Her bed had one "sheet" on it. It was one of those really scratchy blankets full of little holes. She had me lay down next to her and I sang her a sweet song. She didn't even have a pillow. I began to cry, I couldn't contain it. Everything in me wanted to stay in Brazil with sweet Isabella, and my heart was torn. She realized I was crying and reached over and wiped my tear off my face. In that moment, Isabella was Jesus to me.

See the connection?

Well that's the trip my mind went on when Matt so sweetly wiped my tears from my face, it reminded me of that sweet love that I experienced almost 6 years ago.

I am blessed to have someone who will wipe my tears and comfort me in the midst of restlessness in my heart. Matthew Johnson, thank you for being Jesus to me to tonight.

The Lord Provides.

Oh how I've seen this to be true. 

Time and time again the Lord provides for me and I feel His love more than ever. 

The concerns of my heart are important to Him. 

He knows the things that break me, and the things that fill me with joy. 

He provides comfort to my restless heart. 

He blesses me with a joy that is endless. 

Oh how I've seen this to be true. 

Time and time again. 

Wedding, Wedding, Wedding.

The wedding planning has begun. :)

We've officially found our venue and I'm obsessed with it! It's gonna be fun and classy but beautiful too! I'ts so perfect. Pricing is amazing and I feel SO blessed to have found this place.

And today, is going to be incredible! WEDDING DRESS SHOPPING!

This is not real life :)

It is Day One.

Of my Tuesday/Thursday classes.

I'm already stressed.

CAN NOT HANDLE THIS!

That Girl.

I've never been the girl who looks in the mirror and wants to cry. 

I've never been the girl who counts her calories.

I've never been the girl who cares what/how much she eats. 

I've never been the girl who has to work out and burn calories. 

But there are days where all i hear 24/7 is...

"I'm gonna eat this because it's healthy" 

"I have to work out soon. I have to." 

"Can I eat this? Is it gonna make me fat?" 

"There's too many calories in that." 

And with all these voices in my head it's really hard to be the girl I've always been.

The Story

On December 31st, 2010 he asked, I said "yes!" 

We were spending New Years Eve with our families. After dinner we came back to my house to play games and enjoy the night together. We played a hilarious game of Apples to Apples and then it was time to open presents. (We didn't get to exchange presents on Christmas so we waited for both of our families to be together to do it.) We started with gifts from family members and to family members. It was lovely. Then when we got to our presents for each other Matt said he wanted it to be just the two of us, so everyone else went into the other room. He asked my mom to stay and take pictures of us opening our Christmas presents. He went first and we took turns. It was so sweet to share this memory together. Finally, we got to my last present. I opened it up and almost began crying instantly. He had created a photo book of our past year together, which is basically our love story in photographs. (Sidenote: I love photography. So to have our love story in a photo book is the most precious thing to me.) He came over and kneeled down next to me as we were looking through the pictures together and reminiscing on the past year. We were laughing and could not stop smiling as we looked back on an amazing year together. When I was on what I thought was the last page of the book I almost shut it, but for some reason I left it open as I looked at him and smiled. Then, I noticed that there was another page. As I turned the page my heart began racing and I realized what was coming. The last page was a picture of an open ring box with no ring in it. Underneath it reads "There's one thing left to do to make this year really complete...". In that moment I looked over at him and he pulled out the most beautiful ring I have ever seen. I'm not entirely sure what he actually asked me because I was screaming "Shut up!!!" over and over again. (Woops.) He placed the ring on my insanely shaky hand and we leaned in for our very first kiss ever. It was beautiful. Both of our moms were there to photograph the moment, which makes this moment even more precious to me. Within just a few seconds of it being “official” some of our best friends ran in the front door surprising us. After a few hugs, tears, and laughs, we all headed into the kitchen where the “engagement party” began. My mom had an engagement cake made in the shape of Haiti and it was decorated like Mission of Hope, Haiti where Matt and I fell in “like” (We met by leading a missions trip to Haiti together). The rest of the night was full of smiles and excitements. And, well…. The rest is history in the making. 

Looking through the book (Didn't notice his hand in his pocket).

:) 

Our first kiss.

Our parents :)

Our amazing Mission of Hope cake!

Grandma :)

it's perfect.

One Last Highlight

Last thing that happened in 2010....

He asked.

I said, "Yes!"

:)

We're engaged!